I hope this will be an ongoing thread to which all will contribute. The spirit of Littlejohn lives on!
Schools alarmed over orange pips
Telegraph
09/01/2006
Orange pips and plum stones have become the latest concern for health and safety enthusiasts, a report reveals. Some schools, which are giving out free fruit to their pupils under a health initiative funded by the Scottish Executive, believe that fruits with pips are dangerous and so are avoiding them. "We tend not to use stone fruits because of the safety issues. Orange pips fall into that category," a respondent to the study said.
CENSORS have banned young children from buying the new series of Doctor Who on video or DVD on the grounds of “excessive cruelty” towards a Dalek.
Children have been banned from collecting chickens' eggs at the National Trust's showpiece farm because it is now deemed by health and safety advisers as too hazardous
I particularly appreciated the contribution from the gentleman who discovered, after his daughter grazed her knee in the playground, that even cotton wool is considered too dangerous to be held in the school office, lest it be left behind in the wound.
42 comments:
You're quite right, it's a miracle we survived childhood. Even the skin on those pipless grapes can get you when you're least prepared.
And as for conkers, why a shiver runs down my spine. Mind you, they have a plan for them:
Conker trees face the chop
Fury at lopped down conker trees
The original Times article on this case:
Palyground's racist taunts have no place in my court, says judge
'Judge Finestein made it clear that in his view the case should not have reached the courts, concluding that the decision to prosecute appeared “political correctness gone mad”. He ordered the Crown Prosecution Service to think again.
The judge, who has a reputation for plain speaking, said that when he was at school other pupils would call him fat, but that did not amount to a criminal offence. In the old days the headmaster would have given them “a good clouting — given them the slipper or whatever they used to get”, and sent them on their way.
The boy, from Irlam, Manchester, appeared in court with his parents. He denied a racially aggravated public order offence and said that he and the other boy were now good friends.'
Expect to see JP as a candidate in the next election. :)
Refugee's counter to political correctness
By Simon de Bruxelles
A SRI LANKAN businessman who came to Europe as a refugee has started an “anti-political correctness party” to fight for the right to discuss race and immigration without fear of persecution.
Johannes Shanmugam believes that political correctness has gone too far in Britain. He is particularly incensed at what he claims is the ingratitude of those who have been given refuge in Britain yet complain endlessly about their new home.
He announced the formation of his Political Correctness Corrective Party, which has so far just one member, himself, in his local newspaper and is now waiting to gauge the response.
Mr Shanmugam, who owns a sandwich shop in Cheltenham, believes that people are afraid to speak up in case they say the “wrong thing”.
[...]
Mr Shanmugam, who fled Sri Lanka for Sweden in 1990 and moved to Britain eight years ago, says that people who are genuinely fleeing persecution and are given refuge appreciate the freedoms that Britain offers. If they don’t like it here, they can go elsewhere, he said.
“I do think we should have controls on immigration. I can say these things because I am dark-skinned but, if a white person says them, they are accused of being racist. We need to have a civilised political debate. You can’t go around waving placards and threatening to behead someone just because you disagree with them.”
Full article.
[It's worth mentioning that the 'baa baa black sheep' story in the full article has been debunked by Private Eye. No link but this quote from Harry's Place:
For the record, the charity Parents and Children Together, which runs the two play groups at the centre of last week's outbreak, told the Press Association that "chldren at the two family centres sing a variety of descriptive words in the nursery rhyme to turn the song into an action rhyme. They sing happy, sad, bouncing, hopping, pink, blue, black and white sheep etc. This encourages the children to expand their vocabulary."]
Laugh out loud funny. We are in pure 'couldn't make it up' territory here:
Are you sitting comfortably?
Alan Hamilton
The Times
'Nanny society though we are, the mature adult does not expect to be told how to eat or to breathe. Up in Dundee, however, the local NHS trust has issued an instruction book on how to do the other thing that all species do; in our case, usually once a day.
Potty training is a near-universal experience of early childhood in civilised societies. That NHS Tayside feels obliged to issue a four-page leaflet entitled Good Defecation Dynamics, complete with a diagram, suggests there may be a gaping cultural black hole in a well-populated part of eastern Scotland.
Still, let us not fall into the trap of typical Edinburgh nose-in-the-air superiority; we are always ready to learn, from the bottom up.
The advice is sound; while sitting on the throne, it counsels, don’t forget to breathe. And, in a hint rarely taught to two-year-olds, it is apparently a good idea to keep your mouth open.
No reason is given for this; perhaps it is to guard against a potentially damaging build-up of pressure that might blow off one or other end of the digestive tract. No recent cases of any such accident have been reported in Tayside, possibly because the population reaches for the prunes before matters reach such a head.'
A teenager (you would) was jailed after screwing four guys and then getting in a huff because the police wouldn't give her a lift home after she called 999.
Words fail me. Though maybe she should be forced to make hard core anal porn (no lube, eh Al?). Also if anyone finds her website (as mentioned in the article) let me know.
In all the papers eg:
Mirror: Jailed for her 'evil' rape lies
and
Express: The explicit video that trapped a blonde who cried rape
'Evil' teenager who cried rape is jailed
The Times
September 19, 2006
A YOUNG woman whose accusation of rape led to four men being arrested and questioned for 36 hours has been jailed for six months for making the story up.
Cinzia Sannino, 18, made the claims after getting drunk during a night out in Cardiff city centre and waking up in a house with four strangers. She claimed that she had been drugged and raped by at least two of the men. But she withdrew the allegation after one of them produced a video made on his mobile phone of her naked and performing a “lap dance” before inviting them to have sex with her.
Cardiff Crown Court heard that the only motive for Sannino’s accusations appeared to be that she wanted a lift home. Chris Lewis, for the prosecution, said: “At seven in the morning she phoned police asking for a lift home. When the operator told her the police were not a taxi service she started to cry and said she had been raped.”
Police began an investigation, even reopening a former police station to act as the inquiry team’s headquarters. The operation, which also involved three doctors and a forensic science team, soon led to the arrest of the four men aged between 20 and 28. Mr Lewis said: “The men were interviewed and told police remarkably similar stories. They said she began to lap dance for them of her own invitation and removed her clothes until she was entirely naked.”
Sannino — who describes herself on her website as “a wild girl who likes to have fun” — initially told police that she had danced for the men but had kept all her clothes on. The court was told that she had been out with friends in Cardiff and had got drunk. She had met the men at a bar and agreed to go home with them.
Peter Wormald, for the defence, said: “This young woman went out and drank to an excess that she wasn’t used to. She is a young woman completely overawed by what she has brought upon herself.”
Judge Roderick Evans told her: “I have no doubt you had voluntarily, consensual sexual intercourse with each of them.You allowed them to touch you intimately. Fortunately, someone recorded part of your behaviour on his mobile phone. “Four men were arrested, interviewed and locked up for 36 hours based on your allegations. Some people would say that your conduct was more than foolish and ill-advised — it was evil.” Sannino, of Llanishen, Cardiff, admitted two charges of attempting to pervert the course of justice. She was sent to a young offenders institution for six months.
Even the South Africans out there will be impressed by this one. And you gotta love the quote at the end.
Rioting by India police hopefuls
BBC News
6 November 2006
Hundreds of people applying to join the police have gone on the rampage in the northern Indian city of Ghaziabad. Riots began because many felt a written test was too difficult, officials say. The mob of would-be officers rampaged along a stretch of the main road to Delhi, attacking people and property. Almost 30 people were arrested. Passengers were forced from their vehicles and reports say several women were molested. It took police an hour to bring the riots under control.
About 20,000 hopefuls had turned up on Sunday evening to take the written test assessing their suitability to be constables in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh police. The state's home secretary, RM Srivastava, told the BBC that the candidates were upset because they found the question paper too difficult. As they left the police headquarters in Ghaziabad, several hundred angry applicants began stopping cars and buses on the highway, breaking windows and demanding lifts.
The mob then ran out of control along a 5km (three-mile) section of the main highway to Delhi, smashing fences, looting food from kiosks and beating up shopkeepers. Security forces baton-charged the rioters to restore order. Uttar Pradesh police say they have now obtained still photographs and film of the riots and are busy identifying those responsible so their applications to join the police can be rejected.
"These men will become gangsters if they do not become policemen," one man in Ghaziabad was quoted as saying by the Times of India newspaper.
Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum
CONTRA COSTA TIMES
Fri, Nov. 03, 2006
A police encounter with a naked man near the El Cerrito BART station turned into an arrest on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon Thursday.
Passers-by called officers about 7:50 a.m. to report that a naked man was lying on a tree stump beside the Ohlone Greenway path, exposing himself and masturbating. Police saw 33-year-old John Sheehan and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure. Officers led him to the nearest street, the 2000 block of Kearney Avenue.
Before putting Sheehan in the back of his car, Sgt. Paul Keith asked him if he had anything on him that police should know about. Sheehan replied that he had hidden a screwdriver in his anal cavity, Horgan said.
Unsure about what to do, police called for a fire engine. Firefighters quickly decided that an emergency room would be better equipped to deal with the situation.
Sheehan interceded before an ambulance was called.
"When he heard what they were talking about, he said, 'Hey, don't worry about it. I can do it,'" said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan. Mindful that a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape could be used as a weapon, officers kept their weapons trained on the 33-year-old. Sheehan went quietly afterward, without explanation.
Sheehan was paroled from state prison last week and listed an address in Pittsburg, Horgan said. Police booked him into County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.
Man has sex with dead dog
Metro
October 26, 2006
Man Jailed for Sex with Dead Dog
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That's Colonel Dead Dog
Metro
November 7, 2006
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Non-invisible bank robber caught
Metro
November 6, 2006
Jesus image appears on dog
Metro
November 7, 2006
Judge: What is a website?
The Sun
17/5/07
A JUDGE stunned a court yesterday by admitting he did not know what a WEBSITE was. Judge Peter Openshaw brought a shuddering halt to the trial of three men accused of internet terror offences as a witness was being quizzed about an extremist web forum.
He told shocked prosecutors at Woolwich Crown Court, South East London: “The trouble is I don’t understand the language. I don’t really understand what a website is.” Prosecutor Mark Ellison then tried to help the judge by explaining. But confused Judge Openshaw, 59, said: “I haven’t quite grasped the concepts.”
Later he said he hoped a computer expert would give “simple” evidence when called to the stand — because otherwise he would not understand it. Judge Openshaw said: “Will you ask him to keep it simple? We’ve got to start from basics.”
British nukes were protected by bike locks
BBC Newsnight
15/11/07
Newsnight has discovered that until the early days of the Blair government the RAF's nuclear bombs were armed by turning a bicycle lock key. There was no other security on the Bomb itself. While American and Russian weapons were protected by tamper-proof combination locks which could only be released if the correct code was transmitted, Britain relied on a simpler technology.
Muslim lawyer sues over Inter Milan 'Crusaders' kit
December 11, 2007
Times Online
A Turkish lawyer is taking legal action against Inter Milan, the Italian football team, for wearing a strip with “Crusader-style” red crosses that he alleges is ”offensive to Muslim sensibilities”.
Baris Kaska, a lawyer in Izmir who specialises in European law, said that he had lodged a complaint in a local court against Inter Milan, which last month played the Istanbul team Fenerbahce in a Champions League match at the San Siro stadium in Milan. The Inter players wore a new strip - a white shirt with a giant red cross on it - marking the club's centenary.
Mr Kaska said he was not only seeking damages but was also appealing to Uefa to annul the match, which Inter won 3-0. “That cross only brings one thing to mind - the symbol of the Templar Knights,” he said. “It made me think immediately of the bloody days of the past. While I was watching the game I felt profound grief in my soul.” Mr Kaska told the Spanish newspaper La Vanguardia that the cross symbolised “Western racist superiority over Islam”.
He said that Inter had “manifested in the most explicit manner the superiority of one religion over another”. He said the court had contacted both Uefa and Fifa to convey his demand that Inter should be “heavily fined for displaying an offensive symbol”. “How could Uefa allow this?“demanded the Turkish paper Radikal.
Inter Milan officials said that they were “astounded”. They said that in the first match between the two teams in September at Istanbul - which Fenerbahce won 1-0 - Inter had deliberately refrained from wearing the strip with the red cross but had felt entitled to use it on its home ground.
Inter officials also pointed out that a red cross on a white background is the symbol of the city of Milan. Many Italian football clubs incorporated the cross on their shirts, including Inter, founded in Milan in 1908. “The red cross has become an international political football,” Corriere della Sera commented.
Uefa's mission is to “promote the principles of unity and solidarity” in Europe through football, “without discrimination on grounds of gender, religion or race.” However, Inter officials said Uefa had approved the new Inter strip at the start of the season, and the Turkish club had also accepted it before last month’s game.
La Repubblica said it was unclear whether Mr Kaska was “more wounded by the supposed offence or by the goals Inter scored”.
ROFL.
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Russian doomsday cult emerge from underground cave
Telegraph
16/05/2008
The last members of a Russian doomsday cult yesterday left the underground cave where they had spent the past six months after the stench of two dead colleagues became too much to stand.
No member of a minority could themselves be prejudiced. Personally, I blame the transsexuals.
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Transsexual driving instructor in row over threat by Muslim student
Telegraph
21/05/2008
The manager of a transsexual driving instructor who used to be a man has been threatened with court action because she sent her to teach a married Muslim woman.
Emma Sherdley, 42, used to be called Andrew but is now legally a woman after a sex change operation. She works for an all-female driving school and was sent to give a married Muslim woman her first two-hour lesson. The pupil, who has not been named, appeared unconcerned but asked to go home half-way through the lesson, citing the need to breast-feed.
However, her husband soon rang the Sheffield-based driving firm, called Laugh'n'Pass, to complain. He said the tutor was a "man with a deep voice", who was "disguised" as a woman, and threatened to sue Laugh'n'Pass manager Joanne Dixon over the "racist" move. In some sections of Muslim society it is considered unacceptable for a married woman to be alone with a man who is not her husband.
Mrs Dixon claimed the man said: "You have sent me a man, send me a proper female. How dare you send a man with a deep voice?" Mrs Dixon said: "He claimed we had deliberately sent a man disguised as a woman because he was a Muslim. "That man accused us of being racist, yet his attitude towards Emma showed prejudice of the very worst kind."
Miss Sherdley, of Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, who has two children from a previous marriage, said she had the official paperwork to prove her sex change was complete. She said: "Legally I am a woman. That is what my birth certificate says and for that prejudiced and biased man to threaten to sue the driving school is totally and utterly wrong."
Union official is branded a racist in row over 'wise monkeys' leaflet
Daily Mail
17th June 2008
It is an ancient proverb that seemed to sum up Onay Kasab's modern grievance perfectly. So he used 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' in the leaflet he circulated about union bosses ignoring members' concerns. He even included a sketch of the three wise monkeys which commonly illustrate the phrase.
Unfortunately, those he targeted read the message a little differently - and accused him of a racist slur against a black member of their standing orders committee. Mr Kasab, secretary of Greenwich Unison, in Greater London, is now under investigation and facing expulsion from the public sector union Unison, along with three other members of local branches.
more
Turns out Abu Hamza's real name is "Mustafa Kamel". I refer honourable impdecers to the Koran on such matters.
Wonder what Impdec parents think of this?
Childcare: child's play is now a minefield
Telegraph
26/06/2008
The vetting of adults who supervise children has become excessive, argues Frank Furedi in a hard-hitting new report
Re CRB checks:
damn straight. Don't want anyone near my kids unless they've been vetted. Almost everyone isn't a paedophile. Unfortunately those that are don't come with a label. Schools (and rugby clubs, swimming clubs, etc) have a duty of care, and I'm sure we've all read of teachers and coaches and youth support workers who have used their position to gain access to kids. So, sorry parents, but if you want to help at school you need a CRB check.
The upside... it's a form that takes 30 seconds to fill out, and the negligable cost can/should be stood by the school.
I have to do a CRB check to coach under 18s at rugby. The ONLY stupid thing about the system is that many organisations don't recognise other organisations' CRB checks, despite there being a single central register. So, for example, the Wessex first team coach is a Policeman, but the RFU doesn't accept his CRB so he has to have another one to coach.
Re: Greenwich Unison and the Monkey racism nonesense. It clearly is nonesense, and it is clearly also all about political infighting between the Labour and Socialist factions of that Union chapter. The decision is made on 16th July, so before condemning the whole thing as stupid, lets wait and see if the charges are thrown out. If they are: no story except the policics. If they are upheld, I'll give a nod to the 'political correctness gone mad' faction. But NO UNTIL THEN!
Plans to remove bushes from beauty spot spark discrimination claims
Daily Mail
08th July 2008
Plans to remove bushes from beauty spot spark discrimination claims - because they're popular haunts for gay couples
Most visitors to a popular beauty spot would welcome overgrown bushes being cut back. But a council had to tread carefully after being told that to some members of the gay community, the dense undergrowth was something to be protected. Removing it would discriminate against the gay men who use the area for outdoor sex, campaigners claimed.
Visitors to the Downs near Bristol's spectacular Avon Gorge have complained about the 'inappropriate sexual activity', which can be punishable by up to six months in prison. Despite this, the city council was forced to consult gay rights groups about their concerns over its plan to clear away the bushes to improve the scenery and protect rare wildlife.
Tory councillor Peter Abraham said yesterday: 'How can it be discriminatory to clear land that might stop what is an illegal practice?
Good to have you back Wembley!
I agree with the commenters.
In defence of the chav
Johann Hari
The Independent
04/11/2004
Woolly-left mollycoddling of youth clashes with PC hysterical anti-racism. Love it.
Toddlers who dislike spicy food 'racist'
Telegraph
08 Jul 2008
I'm against ID cards for other reasons, never thought the Islamic calendar could be yet another blow to it. Oh, and I know the author ;-)
ID card conundrums
14/03/06
IT Week
By Lem Bingley
Extremist cleric Omar Bakri's daughter leaves home after pole dancing revelations
Telegraph
29 Sep 2008
The daughter of the radical Islamic cleric Omar Bakri has left her home in London amid fears for her safety after it was disclosed that she was a pole dancer. Police were called to escort Yasmin Fostok, 27, away from her flat in the south of the capital to take her an undisclosed location on Saturday.
It emerged last week that Ms Fostok regularly performs in bars and nightclubs. There was also a report that her father - leader of the now outlawed al-Muhajiroun group - had paid for a £4,000 breast enlargement operation for her.
Ms Fostok, one of Bakri's three daughter's has dyed her hair blonde, changed her name from Youssra to Yasmin and separated from her Turkish-born husband. Last week she admitted being was a dancer with a troupe called Ibiza Untouched and was quoted in The Sun as saying that she had been known to perform topless "if the venue is right".
...
Ms Fostok has distanced herself from her father, who praised the September 11 hijackers while living in Britain. She was quoted last week as saying: "I don't agree with his views, I just get on with my life and that's it."
Well found, Andy!
The founder of a US TV station aimed at countering stereotypes of Muslims is charged with beheading his wife
Worst (best?) name ever for an Islamist terror organisation: the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. Always consider what the initials spell before naming your organisation.
Oops.
Berlusconi: earthquake victims should view experience as camping weekend
Guardian
8 April 2009
Italian prime minister causes outrage over quip made during interview following Italy's worst earthquake in three decades
Italy's prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, is reported to have said the 17,000 people made homeless by Monday's earthquake should think of themselves as being on a "camping weekend".
Apparently it's not an April Fool:
Cold war bomb warmed by chickens
BBC
1 April, 2004
Great Quote 1
Court jails Pirate Bay foundersBBC
17/04/09
A court in Sweden has jailed four men behind The Pirate Bay (TPB), the world's most high-profile file-sharing website, in a landmark case.
...
Speaking at an online press conference, [Sunde] described the verdict as "bizarre". "It's serious to actually be found guilty and get jail time. It's really serious. And that's a bit weird," Sunde said. "It's so bizarre that we were convicted at all and it's even more bizarre that we were [convicted] as a team. The court said we were organised. I can't get Gottfrid out of bed in the morning. If you're going to convict us, convict us of disorganised crime. We can't pay and we wouldn't pay. Even if I had the money I would rather burn everything I owned, and I wouldn't even give them the ashes."
------------------
Great Quote 2
Clement Freud's self-written epitaph: "Best Before April 2009"
Man fined for punching punch-bag
BBC News
10 July 2009
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
Call me Delores, says MI5 whistleblower David Shayler
Daily Mail
17th July 2009
A little over a decade ago David Shayler was a renegade MI5 agent turned whistleblower who was facing prosecution under the Official Secrets Act. Today the 43-year-old has become a squatter - and yesterday showed off his 'alter ego' as he dressed as a transvestite complete with false breasts, mini-skirt and ginger wig.
In recent weeks friends and family of the former spy believe he has suffered a 'severe breakdown' after first calling himself 'The Messiah' and moving into an empty farmhouse in the Surrey countryside. He now sees nothing wrong in dressing as a woman whom he calls 'Delores Kane' and declares that the 'world will end in 2012'.
...
Posing in a wig and leopard print mini-skirt and wearing false breasts beneath a black jumper he proclaimed: 'This is my Alter ego - I am Delores Kane!'
Shayler says he is on a 'mission' to save the world and this would happen through his growing of hemp, adding: 'We have a plan to save the world in four months by growing hemp. If we all started growing this plant we could be free, which is why they have made it illegal to stop people gaining freedom.'
....
Really, the Richmond Police haven't got better things to do? Unbelievable!
"To teach motorists who leave their cars unlocked a lesson, police in Richmond upon Thames, a borough of London, have begun taking their stuff. The victims beneficiaries of these thefts educational efforts return to their cars and find that expensive items such as cameras, laptops, and leather jackets have been replaced by notes instructing them to retrieve their valuables at the police station. Not to worry, though: "If items are needed urgently," the London Times reports, "police will return the goods immediately." Which suggests that if you can't show an urgent need for, say, your computer, they'll take their own sweet time. The justification offered by Superintendent Jim Davis: "People would be far more upset if their property really was stolen."
What's worse than Davis' assumption that when the police violate your property rights it's not really a crime? The supine attitude of the British Automobile Association, which allegedly represents the interests of motorists:
The initiative was welcomed by the AA. "It would be quite irritating for motorists to come back to their car and find that items have gone missing. But on reflection they may think it is better that the stuff has been taken by the police rather than local thieves.
"I would imagine police patience is wearing thin and there have been other projects where they have set up cars as decoys and caught thieves. "
Link here
Ooops. No matter how badly you screw up at work today, you're unlikely to end up draining a 3.5 billion gallon lake into a salt mine by mistake.
Lake Peigneur: The Swirling Vortex of Doom
Worth watching the video!
The wit and wisdom of Colonel Muammar Gaddafi
Telegraph
23 Sep 2009
Among the points made by Colonel Muammar Gaddafi in his UN speech were:
* Swine flu was created as a moneymaking exercise by drug companies who are now working on a man-made "fish flu"
* JFK was assassinated by Israel because he wanted to investigate their nuclear reactors
* A UN inquiry should investigate the assassination of Abraham Lincoln
* The UN should be moved to Delhi or Beijing – to make the trip less arduous for most countries
* Modern day piracy in Africa is the fault of western imperialism
* Immigration to Europe should be unrestricted until it has paid $7.7 trillion in restitution
more
even more
And finally:
Translator gives up during Gaddafi's 95-min UN speech
26 September 2009
Times of India
NEW YORK: During the venomous 95-minute speech of Libyan dictator Muammar al-Gaddafi at the UN, his personal interpreter struggled to live up to the expectations and simply gave up after he got lost in translation. Gaddafi’s interpreter was so frustrated after 75 minutes of translation that he shouted “just can’t take it any more”, into the live microphone in Arabic, following which the UN’s Arabic section chief Rasha Ajalyaqeen had to take over the proceedings and translate the final 20 minutes of the dictator’s speech.
“His interpreter just collapsed, this is the first time I have seen this in 25 years,” the New York Post quoted another UN Arabic interpreter, as saying. Gaddafi had bought in his own interpreters from Tripoli for the speech rather than use one of the 25 Arabic translators supplied by the UN, as he reasoned that he would be speaking a special dialect.
Curvy students 'perk of the job'
BBC
23 September 2009
A university leader has caused controversy by saying curvy female students are a "perk of the job". Terence Kealey, of the University of Buckingham, said lecturers were aware of females who "flaunted their curves". In a tongue-in-cheek article for Times Higher Education Magazine on the seven deadly sins of academia, he advised academics to "look but not touch".
...
In his article about the sin of lust, Dr Kealey wrote: "Most male lecturers know that, most years, there will be a girl in class who flashes her admiration and who asks for advice on her essays. "What to do? Enjoy her! She's a perk."
Referring to characters from Middlemarch by George Eliot and The History Man by Malcolm Bradbury, he added: "She doesn't yet know that you are only Casaubon to her Dorothea, Howard Kirk to her Felicity Phee, and she will flaunt you her curves. "Which you should admire daily to spice up your sex, nightly, with the wife."
...
His article has prompted a lively debate on the Times Higher Education website. ... But another said: "I'm appalled that everyone's so appalled! - it's just not that important, or offensive."
Bullied dwarves start theme park
The Sun
29/09/09
Aah, sweet justice.
Thugs attack two transvestites... who turn out to be cage fighters wearing fancy dress
Celebrity Watch - Jade Goody's mum, interviewed by OK Magazine
Jackiey claims Jade’s ghost has approved her new relationship: “Jade would never have wanted me to be a sphincter.”
OK!: “Do you mean spinster?”
Jackiey: “Yes.”
Absolutely hysterical. Veteran bulldog Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman finally humbled, throwing in the towel by the end of the interview. And who, I ask, is his master? None other than bumbling Boris Johnson.
It's a slowish start, but by god it's worth it by the end.
Paxo vs Boris Newsnight 5/10/2009
S Korea child 'starves as parents raise virtual baby'
BBC News
05/03/10
A South Korean couple who were addicted to the internet let their three-month-old baby starve to death while raising a virtual daughter online, police said.
Scammer takes driving tests for £800 - then fails them
Metro
13/08/10
A clueless criminal charged about £800 a time to take eight driving tests for other people – and managed to fail five of them.
Gageen Preet Singh would put on wigs and moustaches to make himself untraceable but was rumbled because he used his own car every time.
Even the judge admitted she was ‘surprised’ he managed to botch so many tests despite charging for a ‘professional’ service. Worse still, Singh carried out six of the tests while banned for drink-driving.
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